Billionaire Russian football-spoiler Roman Abramovich has ordered the immediate sale of the whole first team Chelsea squad for failing to beat Stoke 6-0.Chelsea set the early pace in the start to the new season, strolling to two 6-0 victories over eternal yo-yo club West Brom and rugby playing Wigan. This started an odd trend whereby Arsenal, Fulham and even a team like Newcastle were able to win 6-0, with manager Chris Hughton describing the scoreline as 'a bloody good laugh'.
However, Chelsea were booed off the pitch by their own supporters on Saturday after disappointingly only comfortably winning 2-0.
A source close to Abramovich told Hoodies For Goalposts, "If this expensive group of players can't get their act together and win 6-0, then what's the point in them even being here? Roman's not happy at all, so he's going to get in contact with Arsenal about Theo Walcott, Fulham about Bobby Zamora and make a world record £92 million bid for Andy Carroll. You know, players that really know how to win a game 6-0."
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