South African cotton wool manufacturers were today geared for the biggest hike in the industry's history after another star of a television advert was ruled out of the World Cup through injury. With the tournaments kick-off fast approaching, Ivory Coast star Didier Drogba has become the latest to be ruled out through injury. The nations medical staff diagnosed a suspected fractured elbow after leaving the petulant forward on the ground for around 35 minutes, believing the Chelsea frontman was "just dicking about like normal". Drogba branded the tackle, refereeing decision and pre-match meal "a fucking disgrace".
Drogba became the latest victim of sports giant Nike's latest promotional advert, with other managers frantically wrapping their own featuring stars in giant balls of cotton wool. The advert starred Brazillian buck-toothed trickster Ronaldinho, who was a suprise exclusion from the travelling Brazil line-up, who instead preferred some other chaps more willing to try anything other than outrageous tomfoolery. Theo Walcott was the next to be struck down, the sprinter/cowboy footballer left out by England boss Fabio Capello after his appearance on the ad.
However, the cotton-based move is rumoured to have been met by some scepticism from Portugese brat Cristiano Ronaldo, with friends suggesting the greaseball was far from happy with the decision. A friend of Ronaldo, a man too well groomed even for a dog at Crufts, told Hoodies For Goalposts "Cristiano isn't willing to be wrapped in a giant ball of cotton wool. He's not really happy to have to wear all this football gear, but it seems FIFA won't budge on the rules. He's at his best in a tiny pair of pants. Anyone can see that."
HFG understands that Nike have refused a request from the England camp to edit the advert to remove Wayne Rooney and replace him with goal/shot/attack-shy team mate Emile Heskey.
No comments:
Post a Comment