Hull record signing Jimmy Bullard has today announced his intentions to run for Prime Minister in the upcoming general elections. The news comes after current Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, announced the fun-filled vote-athon had been scheduled for May 6th.Cockney rogue Bullard has proved to be a cult hero amongst football fans after seemingly not being a twat. Ball-achingly tedious radio commentator Alan Green commented at half-time of the recent FA Cup semi-final, "He seems like a bit of a laugh! Oh hang on, you won't believe this, but David James is wearing a pink goalie top! Pink I tell you! Whats wrong with home wearing red and away wearing blue?" before retelling every kick of the last fifteen minutes of Liverpools legendary 4-3 win over Newcastle in 1995.
Bullard's opted for the slogan 'How 'ard? Bull'ard!' after rejecting 'Get out of it you mug!' and has been brandished 'amateur' and 'childish' by critics who claim Bullard is making a mockery of British democracy. In reply, Jimmy giggled "I'm not getting any younger and my knees been playing up a lot, so I thought, why not? I just wanna make politics a bit more fun, ya'know. When was the last time you 'eard any of em crack or joke or offer a handshake before taking it away and laughing. It's what politics needs, something the people can relate to."
Cheeky chappy Bullard refused to comment on rumours that he would instill the entire Soccer Saturday panel as a his cabinet amidst talk that Chris Kamara would become "Minister for the Unbelievable" and Paul Merson given a free role to make the cabinet seem more homely. "I don't want to comment on that sort of thing just yet" said Bullard, "But surely it's impossible to look at a massive national debt that will surely burden us for generations, and not be cheered up by the look it would put on Chancellor Phil Thompson's face. Eh? Eh? Have you seen the man on that nose?"
Bullard dismissed suggestions of recruiting orange northerner Phil Brown as "laughable".
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